Taking it day by day...

It seems unreal that I have been home for nearly 3 weeks! My time here has been up and down. I ended up coming home 4 days early because of my Great-Uncle Larry's passing. It was an unexpected loss, but we can rest assured that he is in Heaven without pain.

While being home I have had a chance to visit with many of my dearest friends. I really enjoy catching up and laughing with them. I was also able to meet Mister Jakson Holloway-the charming one. He is one of the sweetest babies I have ever encountered.

Also while being home I have encountered one of the most difficult things ever. Thanksgiving weekend we found out my Grandma Nisley (Graber) had a tumor on her spine and it was cancerous. About two weeks later they realized that the cancer had started in her lungs and it was then at Stage Four. At this time they told us she had about 6-9 months left. This news brought shock to the family. They decided to do radiation on her spine and I was praying for a healing.

Since I ended up coming home early I was able to go to a doctor's appointment on the 23rd with the family for Grandma. This appointment was for the results of the MRI on her brain. That day we recieved awful news. The cancer was throughout her brain with numerous spots so plenty they couldn't count them all. Now her time was lessened to 2-3 months. The decision was to either do radiation on her brain or to call in hospice. Grandma and her kids decided to do the radiation. I had a hard time accepting that decision because of how weak Grandma was. It was hard for me to believe that she would make it through the treatment of radiation. I just had to continuously give the situation over to God, remembering He had everything in control.

January 1, we were able to have our Christmas together as a family. The house smelled of delicious food and goodies. One of Grandma's friends she cared for, Jean, was able to join us for dinner that day. It was neat to meet the woman Grandma talked about so much. Everyone was able to laugh and catch up. Sadly though Grandma was too weak to come to the living room except for present time, but when she came out you could tell how happy she was her family was there. I had a very hard time knowing that this is going to be our last Christmas, here on earth, with Grandma. I had to hold back tears. Saying good-bye that night was also very sad for some odd reason. I knew that I was going to see her again that week, but I think it was just an emotional day.

On Wednesday, January 5 I stopped by to spend some time with Grandma. It was such a good time because she told a joke. Monday night I was really praying that God's joy will be her strength and that the Holy Spirit would comfort her. Hearing her tell that joke showed me how God was working on her. I was able to tell her that I was praying for her and that I loved her so much. Later on this week the doctors decided against radiation because they knew she wouldn't make it. And told us her time has gone down to 2 weeks. That was a huge blow to everyone. At this point Grandma has about a 5-15% understanding of what is going on in my opinion.

So here I am getting ready to go back to Minneapolis for my Spring Semester knowing that I will be back in a few weeks for my Grandma's funeral and I feel like a big selfish person. My heart was telling me that I needed to stay and help take care of Grandma. So, I called Karen and asked her how she thought the professors at NCU would feel about this situation and from her counsel I made the decision to stay here until it is her time and then go back up to MN. Not only do I feel like God calls us to care for those in our family who are sick, but I want to care for my Grandma.

Today as I was learning the ropes, we were helping her go potty and while I was holding her up Mom saw her look at me and lay her head on my shoulder. I thought she was just tired because it takes SO much out of her to just swing her legs to the side of the bed, stand up, turn 90 degrees, and sit down. My mom really thinks she was showing endearment to me and it moved me very much.

Tonight is my first night staying up to care for Grandma. Tomorrow will be filled with sleeping, emailing professors, and calling work. Please pray that her time left will be comfortable and painless. Pray for strength for the family and please pray that I am extremely alert!!