Reflection

The current standing of my life could be defined in a few words: busy, planning, endings. Time is quickly winding down to the close of this chapter in my life, and as I sit and ponder about these past three years I am constantly reminded of God's faithfulness.

"If we died with him,
we will also live with him;
If we endure,
we will also reign with him.
If we disown him,
he will also disown us;
If we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself."
-2 Timothy 2:11-13

By reflecting I remember some of the darkest & brightest times of my life. From harsh, cruel, & afraid to determined, steadfast, & example, no words can truly explain how deep & wide this chapter of my life has been.

I have learned so much in the area of servanthood, one thing being that it is a LIFE-LONG PROCESS!! Servanthood is something I will always be striving to be better at, but I know that it is worth the fight. Living life as a servant to the most high King is the ultimate role we were created for. It should be the core of who we are because all we do should be in service to God. My heart is so soft to the heart of Christ. Remembering his sacrifice & how we can so selfishly live our lives in the complete absence of the one who knows all there is to know about us. I find myself doing it all the time. And I am constantly drawn to the question: WHY MUST WE HAVE A FLESH! Or perhaps it really isn't a question at all, but rather an exclamation of frustration.

In the midst of this season of servanthood, I have found myself knowing God in a new way. A way that I had never known him before. Umm... knowing God as agape, unconditional love. I feel silly writing about agape because I am still working through it, but God has shown me how he loves me and I see how we need to do this for others. I've seen the importance of living a life with zero reservations, nothing (not an agenda, a time frame, or selfish desires) keeping you from giving what you have to another. Whether it be your time, prayer, or honesty.. its about giving it. We can hold onto what ever "it" may be, but what good is it doing for anyone besides ourselves? Living life on call... still trying to figure out the balance.

This next season of my life is going to be a switch from what I have been doing. I am very excited, but nervous. It is a drastic change, but I know it is what God desires.

I want to be able to stand
in front of Him one day
and say...
"Yes Lord, I did all I could to know you more. "